when the going gets tough... the tough get going.

until now, i have never truly understood those words before. college is HARD. it has kicked my butt on several different occasions. & right when i feel like i'm about to conquer it & i'm on a roll, it pulls a cheap-shot & sucker punches me right in the gut. that's what it feels like. the last few weeks i have been dominating. no really, i have. i've done well on papers, tests, & i've even been going to all my classes. then WHAM. abrupt halt and everything starts spiraling out of control. 


i failed a test today. no my typical 'i got a 70 so i failed'... i mean i literally failed a test. in college. in biology. in a class that i'm boarder line not even going to pass. {welcome to my little panic attack.} i mean, i'm not someone who fails classes. i was always the one in my family that did things well & got things done. & maybe that's the perfectionist part of me peeking through. so when i'm about to fail a class i feel like i, myself have failed. i know i could have done better this semester/year. & i've used the excuse of it being my freshman year, a year for learning more than what they teach you in school, but deep down i know i could have done better. i was so disappointed and feel like i've hit rock bottom today. not a good day, not a good ending.


& right when you think all hope is lost, you get a nice teacher who is willing to work with you. who is willing to let you retake the test this thursday afternoon in her office. & she's even willing think about letting you write a paper for extra credit to replace a test score. just because she wants you to be able to pass her class. 


so when everything seems like it's as bad as it's going to get. when you have a $370 ticket you don't know how you're going to pay. when your room is a disaster & you can't even find your bed in it. when your body is falling apart and no doctor can figure out why & no medication helps. when you're too tired to wake up & shower even though you haven't for 3 days. when things don't turn out how you want them to....


have comfort in the fact that someone is always looking out for you. whether it's your biology teacher or not, God is always watching out. & even if my biology teacher hadn't been willing to work with me, i know that He is always there for me & understands the stress & disappointments i'm feeling. knowing that i know i can get through any challenge or obstacle thrown my way. & that is the greatest feeling of all.